*Musical Snowman Thoughts*

I think we should take a moment to appreciate the unjust victimization of the poor “Winter Wonderland” snowmen.

If'n you’re unfamiliar, the song tells the story of a love-drunk couple frolicking through the wintry hills. Upon reaching the meadow, they decide to build a snowman named Parson Brown, who’s brought to life with the express purpose of marrying the couple together. His section of the song goes as follows:

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown
He'll say: Are you married?
[or, “Now that you’ve made me, can I do that which I was created to do, perhaps achieving some sense of self worth and actualization?”]
We'll say: No man,
[or, “Not only do we deny you and your identity, but we'll also refer to you as 'man,' which you are clearly not.”]
But you can do the job
When you're in town.
[This is the last we hear about the Parson and his fate is unclear. The winter wonderlanders either: a) abandon him in the meadow. Or, more likely: b) force him to leave town and wander the icy countryside until enough time passes for the selfish lovers to realize they are perfect for one another in that they’ll never find any other humans as cruel and insensitive with which to spend the rest of their lives.]

A little later in the song, the couple goes on to create a second, circus clown snowman. To their credit, they do treat him a bit more fairly, though they regard his death - attributed to "other kiddies" knocking him down - with a sickening inevitability. Note: other interpretations of the clown's death do exist.