The thing about lymph is I don't know very much about it at all. It's like one of those things you learn about in school and you're like "whoa, there's a whole other system in your body? Charlie Brown Encyclopedia never mentioned THAT one." And those bumps under your jawbone? Lymph nodes. Cool!
One of these days I'm gonna meticulously avoid all blood vessels and sever one of my lymph...tubes. Just because I wanna bleed clear, or whitish yellow or whatever color lymph is. I wanna lymph! Thank you.
Further requests for bodily fluid posts already requested and to be requested will be similarly honored.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Lymph
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The thing I don't quite understand about the whole "lymph" thing is that big momma of a lymph node that's just below your left shoulder or something like that. According to my highly flawed high school memory, that momma node just dumps all the leftover lymph out a tube and into your bloodstream.
What?
Another interesting fact about lymph is the proliferation of a little-known race of humanoid creature known as the lampire. As you may have guessed, lampires feast on the lymph of mortal humans, by, um, biting you right in the nodes.
Curiously, lampires do not bear many similarities to vampires other than the sucking-of-human-liquid thing. They are not immortal; they do, however, live about 75 years longer than the average human, which isn't bad. Though they do indeed reflect in mirrors, they tend to look kind of pixelated and fake.
On the bright side of things, lampires do not share the vampire race's general aversion to garlic. They do, however, tend to have a strong allergic reaction to minced garlic. (Why this reaction is not experienced with full garlic cloves has yet to be determined.)
Also, lampires tend to be two feet shorter than the average human and they lack any and all sexiness. Poor lampires.
Jesus I'm bored...
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