Escape

Turns out, I've never really listened to the Pina Colada Song.

But I digress. Wait, no I don't.

The other day I was in a cab listening to 106.7 (honestly, the cabbie was listening to it, I was just along for the ride, you know what I'm sayin?), when the following piece of dialogue occurred:

DJ: Okay, up next we have a song for any man that's thinking of fooling around on their special lady. DON'T.

Escape (The Pina Colada Song) starts playing.

Which was pretty hilarious, because he was serious and emphatic about it, implying that perhaps his life had been ruined after cheating on his wife.

But, and here's where the "I've never really listened to the song," thing comes in, the lesson of the song actually is: Cheat on your wife.

Although I've overheard the song hundreds of times (it was a staple of a-capella groups in college), I've never listened to the lyrics. Turns out, story is this:

Guy gets tired of wife.
Guy sees personal ad.
Guy responds to personal ad.
Guy and Personal Ad Girl meet up at bar.
Turns out, personal ad girl was his wife all along!
They laugh for exactly one second.
Their marriage becomes richer for this experience.

In real life, of course, both partners would have to deal with the fact that they actively were trying to cheat on each other, and had these secret double lives. Like in Mr. & Mrs. Smith. In the song, they both like each other more for it. Like in True Lies.

Regardless of all of this, one little fact trumps all others: the song is TERRIBLE.

...and with this kitschy-and-outdated-reference-laden post, I christen thee a comedy blog.