Who Wants To Shoot Me in the Face?

This is awesome news. A 27,000 square foot paintball facility has opened in my hood, Long Island City.

Now, if you know me, you know I fear pain the way a little girl fears having her lollipop taken away. Which is to say, I will start crying if you even punch me a little bit. So paintball didn't seem like a good sport for me to try my hand at.

Then, about a year ago, I went out to Las Vegas for a friend's bachelor party, and I know what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but let me tell you a story about something that happened to me in Vegas.

Early one morning, we all drove out to a remote spot outside the city, where a makeshift series of giant concrete cylinders had been set up. We outfitted ourselves in pads and face masks, loaded up guns with tiny pellets, and split into two teams. Then we shot the heck out of each other.

Actually, two awesome things about paintball I was not expecting. 1) Its more about strategy, sitting and waiting for someone on the other team to make a mistake. 2) Yes, the paintballs sting, but not that badly.

Or rather, I should say that I was hit twice, and the paintballs bounced off me both times and didn't hurt (which as far as I'm told, is impossible, but its actually true). My friend Mike got blasted in the stomach from a foot away, and had a bruise for the rest of the weekend.

Point is, it was intensely more fun than I thought it would be, and now that a facility is in walking distance, I'm ready to strap those pads on again, and take all challenges!

But first, check out their totally hilarious website.