Please Don't Make Me Think About My Mortality

I always wonder if I pay more attention to advertising than most. Whenever I see a poster or a commercial, my first thought is usually "Was that effective? Was it funny?" I dunno why I think this, though it may be a defense to thinking "I want that!" or "That chimp was funny, I want that hat he was wearing!"

Anyway, I have a theory that effective advertising should not include any negative elements at all. Advertising should be all positive, so you don't accidentally have your mark (what do adveritisers call us? Targets? Idiots? Probably something that wouldn't make us feel very good) associate something negative with your product. For example, it drives me crazy when I see a car commercial that shows the person driving their car instead of, say, giving a report. This car is not good! It prevented this person from doing their job effectively. Do not get this car.

Which brings me, finally, to my reason for posting. Some advertising slogans are just creepy, like the one I heard at the end of the Mets game just now: "Croton...quite possible the last watch you'll ever own."

Croton is letting me know that I am going to die. Jesus Christ! Don't remind me of this! I'm trying to listen to a baseball game! Hopefully I have fiftyish years left on the planet. I do not want to be thinkingof dying! Please! Now I'm not going to buy your watch, because it will remind me that I am definitely, definitely going to die.

This one reminds me of another one: "Trust Sleepy's...for the rest of your life." This is not as bad, but still pretty creepy. It's a pun on "rest", since Sleepy's sells mattresses...but for the life of me it sounds like they are adveritising the fact that you will die, probably on one of their mattresses.

Anyway, here is my favorite commerical ever, probably.