Attention Somers High School Graduates

If you went to SHS like me, you’ll know that our mascot was a big, angry elephant, and our team name was the Tuskers.

That being the case, check out this morning’s most relevant news story.

Actually, massive school spirit aside, I was never totally sure what a Tusker really was. I always imagined it to be either:

a) Someone who savagely cuts the tusks off elephants (i.e. a poacher),

or

b) A hugely ferocious elephant that goes around impaling people. It uses both tusks at the same time to lift, or tusk, its victim up into the air, and with a mighty elephant roar, flings them away to die. It also may or may not stomp them to death.

For the sake of awesomeness, I usually opted for that second definition.

Turns out though, Tuskers are actually quite obvious and super-lame. Oh well.

Speaking of potentially awesome mascots, go ahead and read this, perhaps again.