Thursday, July 21, 2005

Oh Steven DiTata, I Don’t Even Know You...

…and I can’t say I really want to.

This weekend, my brother and I watched a bunch of Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. I’d seen it for the first time earlier this spring and really enjoyed it. Super funny.

If you’ve seen it, you’ll probably remember the whole slew of scenes with these Extreme Sports Punks who ride this intense Jeep everywhere and harass Harold and Kumar whenever they can. You also might remember one of these punks in particular, played by Steven DiTata. He’s shorter and stockier than the rest, with a shaved head and a babyish face. But what distinguishes Steven the most is this weird pterodactyl sound he makes right up in Kumar’s face. Granted, I don’t know what an actual pterodactyl sounded like, but still, it seems impressively accurate. I couldn’t even begin to think of how to make that sound with my body.

Anyway, on the walk to work this morning, I think I saw Steven not only once, but TWICE, in two totally different neighborhoods.

And upon seeing “him” the first time, something clicked in my brain. I suddenly realized that, after seeing the movie on Sunday, Steven has played a minor role in at least two of my dreams this week. I can’t remember what he was doing, but honestly? It concerns me a little bit.

So I guess what I’m saying is this:

Get the fuck out of my life, Steven DiTata.

Yes, you were funny in that movie.

But it’s enough now.

It’s time to move on.

For both of us.

(On a sidenote, I've decided that if I see Steven DiTata one more time in the next 12 hours, I will take it as a sign from the benevolent cloudman and form the official Steven DiTata Fan Club, NY Chapter, which you will all be forced to join.)

5 comments:

Alex said...

You realize this is a great romantic comedy pitch, right?

Chris S. said...

Harold, Kumar learn a lesson,
Steve DiTata, omnipresent,
He keeps stalking Chris Principe
Everywhere he goes

His bald noggin is a vision
Will Chris find a new religion?
It's a fact the pterodactyl's
Metaphysical

Chris doesn't need the Bible
He will be beseeching
For DiTata's preaching
Chris doesn't need the Bible
He will be a vassal
For heaven's White Castle

Anonymous said...

I had the same kind of thing going with Joe E. Tata ('Nat' - "Beverly Hills 90210", but you knew that).

It got pretty bad. I had to eat him.

Dad said...

Why does the search "'Steven DiTata'" + elephant + pterodactyl" not bring up the EL blog. That's crap.

Anonymous said...

I found your blog as I was trying to find a picture of Steven DiTata to show to my friend.. You may see him in your dreams, but Steven DiTata... well, he looks EXACTLY like my boyfriend if my boyfriend was about 350 lbs.. Now I can not look at my boy without expecting some sort of unnatural noise to come flying out of his mouth in an extreme way. Stupid Steven DiTata!!