Puppet Sex

Last week I had the fortune of experiencing "Team America: World Police" and "Avenue Q" within the same 48-hour period. I don't mean to ruin it for you, but these two pieces of entertainment have a couple of very important thing in common: they are both very raunchy (I feel like I'm 51-years old saying "raunchy") and they both feature puppets as most (if not all) of the characters. These facts put together can mean only one thing. I saw puppets having sex twice last week.

I know what you're thinking. Which puppet sex was better? Let's look at the tale of the tape!

Nudity: Both pieces...I guess I'm going to call them pieces. OK. Both pieces took the same tact at nudity, as the only naughty bits shown were the woman's breasts. But the breasts in "AQ" belonged to a monster,* and that is funnier than human breasts. Advantage: Avenue Q.

Hard-coreness: Both were quite hard-core, thank you very much. "TA:WP" tried a much wider variety of sexual positions, though, which gave it a bit more longevity. Not that one can truly tire of watching objects have sex. Advantage: Team America: World Police.

Original song playing in the background: Check on both accounts. Though I can't remember either offhand, I'm gonna have to go with "TA:WP" here, because I remember noticing the song** and laughing as opposed to "AQ" where I noticed the song and went "OK, it's a song." Advantage: Team America: World Police.

Depth of emotion: What, during the sex? None at all in either piece.*** However in terms of the relationships, the couple in "AQ" had far more sincere emotions. Ya know. Sincere puppet emotions. Advantage: Avenue Q.

Self-awareness: All right, these are puppets having sex. That is ridiculous. The more you refer to the fact that these are puppets having sex, the better off you are. I mean, hey. Look at this post. Advantage: Team America: World Police, hands down.

Winner: Team America: World Police. What it comes to is, I definitely laughed more at TA:WP, though I admit that it may just be because I saw it first. But I like to think that it's because it was a better-crafted entertainment event and that marionettes are just that much more awkward than Sesame-Street style puppets.

In conclusion, go see both! They were really good!


*Had to avoid the phrase "monster breasts" here.
**Why did it take me a moment to notice songs were playing? Well you have to remember that I was watching puppets having sex at the time.
***Seriously, I'm calling them pieces? There's got to be a better word.