"We Do Not Breathe Xenon"

Just walked by a fancy Godiva's Chocolatier shoppe around the corner, and they're heavy in the midst of advertising their new Platinum Collection of chocolates.

And now'’s the part where I make fun of them.

Okay. I understand that my personal immediate impressions often lean towards the bizarre. And I also accept that platinum, gold, and silver - —these are all words whose meanings often denote class rather than the elemental properties they originally described.

But. If you insist on using the word platinum to advertise your little chocolate covered nuggets? Well, then part of me is going to think that, chocolate or no chocolate, you want me to eat platinum.

And though, I guess I would be more irrationally comfortable with consuming platinum rather than, say, tin or lead or iron, I still can't imagine it's the best idea to incorporate a mostly inedible and possibly poisonous material into your brand and marketing strategy.

For all you superskepticynics out there, I asked Jeeves what happens when you eat platinum, and he said that some guy from Forbes said that "we do not breathe xenon or eat platinum." So there.