Monday, October 31, 2005

I Am FireFoot!

Okay. I’m pretty sure this isn’t disgusting. But maybe I’m wrong and it is. I don’t know. So if you’re disgusted? Well then, I’m sorry. But not really.

This is about my feet.

For the past two weeks or so, my left foot has been experiencing what can unfortunately best be described as a burning sensation. I did some research and I don’t think it’s fungal, nor do I think it can be attributed to AIDS, diabetes, or heavy metal poisoning.

About a dozen times a day, for about three seconds or so, the meaty sole of my left foot has been suffering from (what I’ve taken to calling) heatbursts. It’s like someone’s lighting a match under my foot, but instead of lighting it under my foot, they’ve discovered some way to actually light the match from inside my foot. It doesn’t hurt, and it’s actually almost pleasant. Like a mini, heated foot massage.

That said, I think it’s safe to assume that I’m finally acquiring the superpowers I’ve so longly deserved. Hence, the new name: FireFoot (no space, capitalized second F, exclamatory if possible)!

Assuming the heatbursts last, I’m hoping to fully unlock my powers by the end of the week. In the mean time, I’ve been using each new burst to experiment: launching off into super-quick sprints or extra-high jumps. Or just grounding both feet and thinking really strong fire-thoughts at the people around me.

So far, nothing exceptional to report. But when the heatbursts move up into my hands, as I'm sure they will, I'll at least be able to warm things up or something. Might have to change the name to FirePalm! But hey, future bridges, future crossings.

And if not, oh well. Remaining boring and normal will be fine. I'm no stranger to hints of potential superdom. Even when I was six, I thought I could rip objects apart with my mind.


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Anonymous said...

you are developing stigmata. instead of "FireFoot", you should go with "Lord".