The NetFlix Walk Of Shame

I exited my apartment today with my bright red NetFlix return envelope gripped tightly in my hand. I find that if I leave it in my bag, I mindlessly slip into my daily walk to the subway and forget about it completely, until the next day when I finally make sure I have it firmly clutched in my idiot hand. Hopefully.

Anyway, on my way to the mailbox this morning I saw another guy waving the same bright red envelope around, clearly to drop it in a mailbox on his way to work. And all of a sudden I felt really guilty.

I have no good explanation for this. NetFlix is clearly a popular, widespread way to rent videos. I talk about NetFlix with my friends regularly. There is no shame in NetFlix. Yet seeing this stranger going through the same early morning process as me really put my entire situation in perspective...except it didn't because there is zero reason to feel guilty about returning NetFlix.

Maybe I was embarrassed about what I had rented? No, it was the Best of John Belushi. That's fine.

Maybe I was angry with myself for following the flock and participating in something so mainstream? That’s stupid enough that I will dismiss it out of hand in the hopes that I am not so shallow.

Maybe (and this is my favorite/most Freudian/least likely theory) the idea of watching a DVD is so associated with evening-time that seeing the ramifications thereof in the morning-time became distasteful in some way, a la a Walk of Shame. This theory is underscored by the DAMNINGLY PASSIONATE RED OF THE NETFLIX ENVELOPE! FIE ON YOU NETFLIX! FIE!

Boy do I hate Freud.