Aristocrats CD Release Party Tonight!

I'm hosting this thing tonight at the Knitting Factory, so if you like free scotch, come check it out (notice I didn't say, "if you like me." I know you all don't like me).

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Also appearing:
- Andres du Bouchet
- Jon Freidman
- Shayna Ferm
- A guest so ridiculously amazing that I don't even want to post it here, for fear that it won't actually happen, and, if it did happen, it would ruin the surprise. So you should just come and see if I'm over-hyping or not.

ARISTOCRATS CD RELEASE PARTY
Monday, February 20
7-9 pm
FREE w/ RSVP

At Knitting Factory's Tap Bar (74 Leonard St.)

COMPLIMENTARY CHIVAS REGAL SCOTCH WHISKEY FROM 7-9 PM.
Free and classy. While supply lasts. Must be 21+.

WIN BIG!
PERFORM THE BEST VERSION
OF THE ARISTOCRATS JOKE ON STAGE...
win $69.69 cash, plus the CD & other great prizes.
Runners-up prizes, too.
(Sign up from 6:30-7 pm)

RSVP by emailing nypromo@theonion.com with “RSVP” in the subject and your name in the body. Your friends are welcome, too.