A Breakdown of the First Hour of "Superman: The Movie"

Last night, I watched "Superman: The Movie" in preparation for "Superman Returns," which is starting to look pretty good. However, "Superman: The Movie" sucks. Here's why:

0-5mins: Opening Credits.

5-10mins: Set-up for Superman 2.

10-18mins: Discussion of whether Krypton might explode.

18mins: Krypton begins to explode.

23mins: Krypton explodes.

23-27mins: Young Superman floats in space.

27-29mins: Superman lands, gets discovered by Ma & Pa Kent, reveals his super strength, gets adopted, and is now 18 years old and in high school.

41mins: Clark Kent finally leaves Smallville to go to... The North Pole. Sigh.

50mins: twelve years have passed, and for a split second, with no explanation, he's in his full Superman costume.

After that, it speeds up a bit, and things start happening at a more regular pace. I mean, look at that. Nothing happens that is relevant to Superman: The Movie until TWENTY-THREE MINUTES IN!!!

I did a little reading up after watching it, so here's some fun facts:

- Superman 1 and 2 were the first movies ever shot simultaneously, with a clause in the contract about it. Hence the set up for the second movie that never pans out, and the inordinate amount of time spent on... Well, everything.

- Before the movie was even written, it was sold to producers based on the involvement of Marlon Brando and Gene Hackman. They were two huge stars at that point, which is why their names are before the credits, and Christopher Reeve is fourth or fifth.

- Also, Gene Hackman and Marlon Brando weren't cast in any specific part. They later got assigned Lex Luthor & Jr-El respectively.

- Additionally, Marlon Brando being the bigger star probably explains the 30 minutes spent on his story at the top of the movie.

- Richard Donner was the third director on the project. He felt parts of the script were too campy, and brought on a collaborator to re-write some of the dialogue. You can see this clearly emphasized by literally every other line being totally stupid and campy, and the other lines being well written and effective. It's kind of a startling experience.

- Richard Donner shot most of Superman 2 before being pulled off the project. It was supposedly re-shot entirely, but some of the remaining footage is being used in Superman Returns.

- My g-friend described Superman as "dreamy." I kind of have to agree. Christopher Reeve, who was originally hired to read off-camera lines to the actors, and ended up getting cast as Superman/Clark Kent, is incredible as both parts.