Monday, July 10, 2006

"We suggest straining out the balls."

And now, a really belated post about Orbitz. Not the airplane website discount thingy, but the Discontinued Drink-With-Balls-In-It thingy.


Bevnet, the greatest/most-serious beverage site ever, really hated Orbitz when it came out. It seems that Bevnet wanted Orbitz to die even faster than it ended up dying, which was pretty darn fast. Anyway, here are some excerpts from their blunt, hate-filled Orbitz Reviews. I think it's pretty funny to hate any beverage this much, especially when you taste beverages for a living.

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RASPBERRY CITRUS

BEVNET REVIEW EXCERPT: "Atrocious. That sums it up. This flavor tastes absolutely horrible."

RATING: 1 star (out of 5)


VANILLA ORANGE

BEVNET REVIEW EXCERPT: "One of the worst tasting beverages that we have ever had. It is really impossible to enjoy a beverage that has little balls floating in it."

RATING: 1 star


BLACK CURRANT BERRY

BEVNET REVIEW (entire): "Black Currant Berry Orbitz would be a half decent beverage -- if it weren't for the balls. The liquid part of this beverage is lightly sweatened and has a nice berry flavor. The balls, on the other hand, don't really have any taste. It makes the beverage almost impossible to enjoy. We suggest straining out the balls if you are daring enough to try this beverage."

RATING: 1.5 stars


PINEAPPLE BANANA CHERRY COCONUT

BEVNET REVIEW (entire): "This beverage is atrocious. It slightly resembles a Pina Coloda, but it has a drowned out taste. We really couldn't taste the cherry and banana flavors. The white and red balls don't have much flavor. We would never drink this beverage again."

RATING: 0.5 stars

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

!!!

kathy said...

wow. it just so happens that i am sitting in an office with a bottle of PinEapPle bAnaña cherRy coConUt (sic sic sic) orbitz right now. strictly for ornamental purposes.

(PEPARCU! i cracked their code. wasn't sure what to do with the ñ, though. PEPAñRCU? also the "bAnaña cherRy" is upside-down on the label. not sure what do do with that key information.)

related! according to wikipedia, it's probably this bottle of orbitz's 10th brithday! happy birthday, orbitz.

mmm.

Neal K said...

Are the balls still floating?

kathy said...

they are, indeed, still floating.

Neal K said...

Wow.