Every morning during Music Video Time (tm), there's a video from either Gwen Stefani or Fergie. And every morning, I say, "Wow, this sucks," and then watch with rapt attention, sucking every awful lyric into my head so that they can be stuck there all day.
Which is why I would like to say, "I surrender." Fergie and Gwen Stefani will eventually collaborate on some hideous monstrosity that can only barely be called a song. And when they do, I'd like it to be this one I just wrote for them:
Dancy McChanterson
Lyrics by Alexander Zalben
C'mon!
I'm hot!
Get on the dance floor!
Uh
Uh
D-a-n-c-y
D-a-n-c-y
M-c
M-c
C-h-a-n-t
E-r-s-o-n
E-r-s-o-n
E-r-s-o-n
You gotta dance!
Look at my butt!
D-a-n-c-y
D-a-n-c-y
M-c
M-c
C-h-a-n-t
E-r-s-o-n
E-r-s-o-n
E-r-s-o-n
[Repeat for 5-10 Minutes]
4 comments:
That being said, Fergie sucks way harder than Gwen. Also, I've touched Gwen before. With my hand. I'm not sure what this has to do with their lack of songwriting talent, but she sure was pretty in person...and very small.
Also, thanks for having a link mid-way down your blog for the Git-R-Done store. I can't wait to GIT myself a G-R-D beer cozy.
Ted, I believe what you touched was your wife.
how bummed must that lead singer girl from Save Ferris get every time she sees Gwen Stefani sell another billion records?
very, i would wager.
Am I the only one waiting for a Fergie parody from you guys? C'mon. Seriously.
AhemBURGERLICIOUScoughthroatclear.
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