Saturday, March 10, 2007

How To Like "300"

First of all, yes, I only post about movies now.

Apparently not too many people are likin' on "300". I, on the other hand, am. And I believe everyone should! So in the interest of the public good, here are four easy steps to follow so that you too can like "300"!

Step #1: Be able to revel in the sheer absurdity of 300 diesel-jacked men in loincloths stabbing monsters with spears. This is essential.

Step #2: Realize that this actually happened! The movie is actually pretty darn true to real events. And the real events were awesome.

Step #2a: Spartans basically INVENTED the action movie catch phrase. "Come home with your shield or on it"? They actually SAID that!

Step #3: Go see it opening night in a crowded movie theater with lots of hooting and hollering. If you cannot travel back in time, at least see it today or tomorrow. After that, I can't guarantee the crowds will be great. I mean come on. "I Think I Love My Wife" is coming out next week.

Step #4: Try not to think about the Spider-Man 3 trailer too much. Oh man. Oh. Man.

If you follow these four/five easy steps, you WILL like "300". And if you don't? I will pay you $300.* That is the 300/300 guarantee.

*Oh God no I can't do that.

4 comments:

Nick Farina said...

I can vouch for every one of these steps, as I went through exactly the same process. I think the filmmakers would have done well to just hand out copies of that wikipedia article as you enter the theater.

Anonymous said...

Alternately, you could go see The Host, and enjoy your movie-going experience sans irony and fanboys.

Geoffrey said...

Or see both!

I really wanna see The Host.

Lance said...

Yeah, I totally saw The Host today. Good flick, and the monster was pretty amazing. Hope to see 300 real soon.