I Am Trashcan: Marni's Birthday, Part 1

So here's a funny nickname I have: Trash Can. I got this nickname because I like to make my friends laugh and have a good time, so I buy the weirdest food I can find at truck stops, and eat it. And in return for the all the fun I give them, they call me Trash Can. Unbelievable.

Anyway, for my birthday, the boys in Elephant Larry got me a trash can filled with ridiculous candy, and I thought it would be nice to share my disgusting odyssey with all of you. So each day, I'll eat and review a new piece of candy.

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Okay, one more post (well, two) about something not from a trashcan, and then, only things I'm eating out of a trashcan.

For my lady-friend's birthday, we had a food-stravaganza in two locations: Park Slope's Sweet Melissa, for tea; and Mario Batali's Otto, for din-din. So how did the two stack up?

Sweet Melissa's Sweet Tea: They don't call it that, but they should, because my teeth nearly fell out of my head. And let me tell you, the only thing currently keeping them anchored there is sticky candy, so that's not that much of an accomplishment.

Tea, as you know, comes on a series of stacked platters, so let's start with first things first:

We started off with scones with clotted cream and jam. The scones were cranberry/orange (we shared). They proceeded to fall apart all over me, giving the impression that I was five and this was my first high tea outside the house. Also, I am a little girl. Unrelated.

Other than the crumble, they tasted fine. The cream was... A little too creamy. It was more like cream cheese than clotted cream, which was disappointing. And the jam was fine, but essentially an over-powering flavor.

Second course:


Let me tell you what you're seeing here:

- A fillo pastry covered in curried chicken salad. This was totally fine, but a little too chunky on the chicken, not enough curry.

- A salmon/something/a third thing wrap, which was pretty good, and light on fishy flavor. We got into a huge argument about whether there was, in fact, any cheese in it, and then broke up.

- A mushroom quiche, easily the best thing in the whole meal, was delicious, plump, and peppery.

Third Course:


This is where things went horribly wrong, at least for me. And Marni. And the restaurant. For you see:

- I get headaches if I eat too much sugar.

- Marni is allergic to nuts.

As you may be able to see, the dessert is made up of a hazelnut cake petit four, a tiny mango and rasberry/blackberry tart, a truffle, and a nut/praline type thing that I forget the name for.

1) Everything was way too sweet for me. I spent the rest of the day with my head pulsing from all the sugar.

2) Marni was able to cleverly avoid all the nut items, except the hazelnut cake.

We told the server that Marni was allergic to nuts, and with alarm, she said, "But that's a hazelnut cake."

We said that it was fine, to which she repeated that it was a hazelnut cake, and explained that it was a mild allergy.

As if we would be sitting there, calmly discussing thing if she was deathly allergic to nuts.

In any case, the food was fine, and not overwhelming like Tea & Sympathy's tea. However, it was also nowhere near as delicious (except for the mushroom quiche). Three trashcans:



Next up, Otto...