Friends With You

So my friend Kelley was in town so we could walk down Fifth Avenue. It's corny, but we like the lights.

Anyway, our first stop was FAO Schwartz, just to mix things up from last year when we started at Macy's. We got to examine FAO thoroughly, ending with the second and, for my tastes, worst floor. It was all dolls and cars, which I don't like. There was also some pre-school stuff that would be totally cool if you have an infant nephew (like Kelley does), but it didn't really capture my imagination. Until we got to some designer stuffed dolls.

One line of designer stuffed dolls was called Uglydolls, and they were just that. Ugly dolls. Pretty straight-forward. Among the Uglydolls were some far more hideous, monstrous looking plush animals, most with removable legs or segments or KIDNEYS. They were disturbing to say the least, but we weren't that thrown. Until I got to this one doll that was just a white cylinder with eyes and what looked like teeth of various length PROTRUDING FROM ITS BODY. I finally read the tag and here's what it said:

"Albino Squid is a jerk. He is a useful friend in that he reminds you how not to act. OR if you, yourself, are a jerk, then meet your new teammate in life, he wants to kick the ass of all your competitors and help you rule the world!"

Crazy, crazy, crazy. It turns out this line is called "Friends With You" and is about the freakiest, creepiest thing I've ever seen. The backstory is that these things are some kind of "subamoebic" creatures that have been blown up to doll size. Their descriptions seem self-aggrandizing, poorly translated Japanese. I recommend reading all the character descriptions here:

www.friendswithyou.com

I don't think I'm going to buy any, but I have to admit an abundance of creativity. Wow.