How Mary Saved Christmas

EL friend Mary was recently the recipient of a cool hundred dollars for being on MTV's hidden camera prank show, "Boiling Points." Herewith, the story of Mary's involvement, in Mary's own words. I hope she didn't sign any confidentiality agreements.

Yes, I’m the big winner!! Though it was kind of unfortunate really; they just picked the wrong person to prank. I decided it would be nice to rent a movie on a lazy Sunday, so I went downstairs. After deciding to rent “Saved!” I turned to the counter where I noticed a new employee. I’m very familiar with this store, and he had funny glasses on; being in the fashion biz, this is what I noticed first. But whatever, I say to myself, this is the village, people wear all sorts of wacky accessories.

“Let me just check this out,” he says, “there have been complaints that people get all the way home with a scratched disc and can’t watch the movie, so let me just pop this in the player and check it out.”

Ok, sure, I’ve also gotten some scratched discs, and though I live right upstairs, it’s still annoying to correct. He’s fast-forwarding through the previews, and I’m starting to think “something is up, something is going on here, and those are camera glasses aren’t they?” I’m checking out some of the postcards around the counter, looking at other movies and the guy is trying to get me to watch the movie, asking me questions, “What just happened? Are they in love?”

"I don’t know," I say politely, "I haven’t seen it yet. I’ll wait until I get home, but keep checking, and thanks for making sure it’s not broken.”

“Great,” he said, “While you were talking over the movie I missed what happened. Now I have to rewind. Oops, I went too far. Wait, what scene were we on?”

Then he gets out a bucket of popcorn from under the counter and asks if I want some, would I like a chair. No, thank you, I’m fine. A few times I wasn’t even paying attention to him talking to me, asking me about the movie. I was looking at other movie boxes; perhaps I was going to rent something else too. At one point I got a little worried that I was pissing him off. He was absolutely still and silent for at least 5 minutes; I just wasn’t playing along. Then I was thinking, wait, am I SUPPOSED to freak out, I forgot exactly how you win this game. That’s when I changed my tactic – I started talking to him.

“How did you pick me?” I asked really quietly, “Or did I just happen to walk up at the right moment?

“What are you talking about?”

“For this game, how did you pick me?”

“We don’t sell games on this floor, maybe check downstairs.”

Oh ok, right, gotta keep playing. I just have to stay calm, and it's already been about 15 minutes. After a few minutes more, he says again, "Hey who is that guy? Doesn't he look like that guy on that show, where they try to make people mad?"

Here's my chance!!! "Well," I say slowly, "I think YOU'RE that guy."

That's when the whole store starts clapping and laughing, and he says, "You've just won $100 on MTV's Boiling Point, motherf***er"

The producer came out, shakes my hand and tells me that I was very funny, that I did a great job, and hands me $100 in cold hard cash. I don't know if they'll air it though; hopefully they'll let me know. I mean, he cursed, and I knew it was a game all along. I still got your money though, screw you MTV!