I Want to Kiss this Creature with my Lips

A certain unnamed paper that Chris can't stop posting about talks about this crazy species of mole that can eat earthworm chunks really really really really fast (one every 0.23 seconds, as a matter of fact).

Actually, the real reason I'm posting this is for the rest of Elephant Larry. You see, (Wow, I'm regretting writing this already...) we have these three hilarious recurring characters called The Moles. Their names are Chauncey, Winifred and Percival, and their major interests include digging and making each other sandwiches. I'm gonna make the print smaller now so it doesn't feel like this is taking up as much space as it is. Anyway, the moles have been "alive" since about our sophomore year of college when we wrote this sketch, "Mole Patrol" which absolutely never saw the light of stage. Actually, the only mole to ever make a theatrical appearance is Chauncey. He starred in a sketch appropriately titled, "The Mole," based on the "popular" celebreality series on ABC, I think. You see, Chauncey was a real obvious, high-pitched mole who kept sabotaging the missions of his five cohorts. ha ha ha. (okay, even smaller) Anyway, since college, the moles have made innumerable appearances. Chauncey, after moving to the big city, has found rapstardom and curses and drinks much more than he used to. Percival thinks he's changed. Still, they enjoy making each other sandwiches, and recently (the print doesn't get any smaller than this, unfortunately) enjoy lowering their voices and imitating MAN, most often dwelling on MAN's obsession with buying things and transportation. That's about it, I guess. I'd say I'd feel better having gotten all that out of my system, but man oh man, I really don't. BYE.