Thursday, February 03, 2005

What Disease Do I Have?

Symptoms include:

1) Lungs clogged with gunk
2) Tiredness (though I don't FEEL tired. My eyes are tired, possibly from gunky sinuses)

And that's it. I've actually felt pretty productive as I've had it, just mildly inconvenienced. One other clue though: I've felt this way ever since landing in San Fran, when my ears wouldn't pop. Now they pop incessantly. Huh?


Anonymous said...

Any grotesque enlargenment of your Johnson?

Monica said...

sinus issues... the stuff in your lungs drained from your sinuses. and the middle ear, which I believe is what causes altitude popping is also closely related to the sinuses. the expanding and contracting in flight causes everything to swell up and can take a bit of time to recover. dr. monica says: first, take a few sudafed nasal decongestants. this should relieve your nasal pressure that's causes the ear popping. then, for your lungs, choose one of two options: 1) muscinex--I can't spell it, but its a drug that gets the stuff out of your lungs, or 2) boil water and then inhale the steam. the steam breaks up that crap so you can cough it up. repeat until healed. if symptoms do not improve within 7 days or are accompanied by fever, then you're dying. sorry.
(p.s. this is coming from someone who's been sick for exactly 6 weeks now)

Allen said...


Geoffrey said...

Addressing comments in order:


-Thanks Mon! I will take your advice, despite my lack of affinity for taking anything for anything cold-like. I realize that that is irrational. But it's just how I am, BABY.

-That's a good idea, Allen. Does anyone have some disgusting, disgusting onions and heinous mustard?

Jeff said...

Good news, Geoff! That sounds remotely like what I'm sick with!

Except I actually feel tired constantly too.

I suggest you and I take a trip to Dr. Monica together. Then maybe Dr. Mary can design some soothing costumes for us. And then Dr. Marni can prescribe some fake-breaking-up-with-Alex. Which is very good for unclogging the lungs or something.

mjs said...

from the desk of dr. marni:
fake breaking up is no good for congestion. that's why it's real 100% of the time.

screw you, jerf & geoff.

Geoffrey said...

Screw you too Marni! lol!

Alex said...

Ha! LOL!!!