Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Clawball, Jesusball, Multiball

Though, as I mentioned, unbelievably tired, the participants of the Best of the Best SketchFest managed to invent three separate and distinct sports. Here's the rundown, in case you want to make a league.

1) Clawball
Playing field: Green room.
Equipment: Tennis ball.
Rules: Everyone sits in a circle-ish formation, some people sitting on stools, some laying down on couches. All players extend their dominant arm upward and keep their hand in the same spot. The point is to move your hand as little as possible. A tennis ball is thrown from hand to hand, with as little hand-movement as possible. Throws are accomplished with a flick of the wrist. Oh and the hand you use to catch and throw? You curl your fingers inward. Like a claw.
-Dragon-style clawball, where the non-dominant claw is used.
-Tiger-style clawball, where both claws are used and everyone looks like a big ferocious tiger.

2) Jesusball
Playing field: Same green room.
Equipment: Tennis ball with a hole in it.
Rules: Put tennis ball on your finger. Fling at other person in room. This person tries to catch said tennis ball on their finger also. Simple, right? Right. Hours passed without a single successful transfer. The key is to fling the ball with an arc, maximizing the possible time the tennis ball's hole is pointing down at your finger. Gross.
Great Moments In Jesusball: Though costumer deluxe Mary Burke and I were the main Jesusball team, the only successful transfer came when the ball trickled away and backstagestress Nicki tossed the ball to me. It stuck on my finger. The green room went wild. Jeff had just woken up as it happened. Kirk from Flaming Box and Steve from Ten West were there. No offense to all the hilarious comedy groups, but this was the highlight of my weekend.
Where Did The Name Come From?: I totally forget.

3) Multiball
Playing field: Sucktastic miniature golf course.
# of Players: Nine.
Rules: Everyone takes their first shot, hoping for a hole-in-one. (Stefan achieved the only true hole-in-one...Marni was nudged in by Mary on the last hole and I threw one in...but Stefan's was for real, yo.) Then, when a hole-in-one is no longer possible, everyone tries to get the ball in the hole as quickly as possible, by any means necessary. This includes blocking other people's balls, kicking your own, stepping on the hole, hitting others with your club, biting.
Thrown Off The Golf Course?: Surprisingly not.


Anonymous said...

Geoff, Clawball was a huge highlight for me as well. When I think of fun - I think of Clawball, and I'm totally serious.

Anonymous said...

It's true I wasn't there at its inception but I'm thinking Jesusball was thus named because it would take some sort of divine intervention to score and once scoring was thus attained then the requisite argument whether Jesus was truly divine.

Am I right? Or am I right?

Geoffrey said...

I think Jesus's divinity was a sarcastic given, as everyone kept sarcastically saying "Praise Jesus" and "Jesus is Our Lord" and things like that. Good guess though.

I'm thinking maybe cuz the hole was like stigmata? I really don't remember.