Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Mole Update

While killing time (and children) before yesterday’s rehearsal, I was wandering the fashionable Soho streets, when who should I see, but the very lovely Julia Stiles.

Now this isn’t that big of a deal. New York City is constantly teeming with celebrities, and I don’t really consider myself a huge Julia Stiles fan or anything.

Yet, I feel somewhat obligated to share this particular celbri-sighting. Mostly because I know the moles would want me to.

What? Moles? What? Moles?

Shut up, click here, and forgive me my trespasses.


You should know that the moles, as always, have been growing and developing into even more lovably complex personalities. Most recently, they’ve begun to explore the world of MAN above them. Chauncey, in particular, has gotten quite good at lowering his high-pitched mole voice to disguise himself as MAN and, presumably with some sort of hat and trench coat, is able to blend in with the MAN population quite well. While there, he likes to discuss common MAN things, like transportation and shopping.

Thing is, whenever Chauncey speaks in his deep, MAN voice, he sounds almost exactly like the lovely, deep MAN-voiced Julia Stiles.

Some might even say, identical.

Well, wouldn’t you know it, one day Ms. Julia Stiles herself was wandering around the forest when she accidentally stumbled upon the secret entrance to the Mole Village. Little did she know that two other moles, Percival and Winifred, were on the other side of the door, anxiously awaiting Chauncey’s return from the MAN world.

Know this: no MAN has ever been admitted entrance to the secret Mole Village. And gaining access is no easy feat, as the doorway is heavily protected.

Julia Stiles, or course, knew none of this, and gazing at the mysterious door, she knocked.

“What’s the password?” the moles asked.

“I’m Julia Stiles,” answered Julia Stiles, in her lovely, deep MAN voice.

“That’s correct! Welcome home, Chauncey!” said the moles, and let her in.

Now, you can only imagine the wonderful adventures that ensued with this hilarious mix up: the moles mistaking the lovely MAN-voiced Julia Stiles for their old friend Chauncey, and the lovely MAN-voiced Julia Stiles constantly talking about how she's Julia Stiles.

But that, my friends, is another self-indulgent story, for another self-indulgent time.

So, until then!

(For the record, Ms. Stiles is quite pretty in person and, for that matter, the only actress whose presence makes me immediately think of moles.)


Chris S. said...

I'm just going to punt on the whole Mole story. It's giving me the jibblies.

I will insted, offer my own Julia Stiles Experience. About three years ago, I saw a comely blonde girl in a baby blue sweatshirt at a Columbia women's basketball game. At halftime, she climbs out of the bleachers, makes eye contact with me, smiles politely, and walks away. Shortly after she leaves, I nudge my friend Mary Catherine and declare earnestly that "That girl looks just like Julia Stiles!" and she replies, "That is Julia Stiles, you idiot."

And she was right. About both things.

mary said...

(the Mary Catherine mentioned above was not me. i felt the need to distinguish myself here. stupid name...) at this point, i guess i should also offer up my meeting with Julia Stiles. She came to my office to pick something out to wear to an event. this is often the most contact i have with celebrities at my office, unless there are special fittings, but julia was notable in that she was interested in us lowly folk and not just in trying on pretty dresses. she was quiet and composed - not like some other celebrities that strut around the studio, loudly declaring "this is my favorite thing EVER!". julia can come back and hang out with me and claire danes anytime. we won't invite lindsay...

Nate Kushner said...

I saw her a week ago too. Just walking by on her way to something or other. But I didn't put together why she looked familiar until I was a block away. Which is good, because there's nothing I could have said that would have been a cool thing to say at that moment, seeing as how I was carrying in one hand a silly-looking gypsy wig I'd bought from the costume shop a few blocks from Union Square.

Your blog intersects my life way too often, guys. Quit it.