Monday, August 01, 2005

Sloppy Journalism

The local sportsradio station, WFAN, is reporting that Rafael Palmiero has tested positive for steroids. Absolutely no one else is reporting this, so the FAN may be going out on a limb here.

If this is true, this is the biggest story in baseball this year, easily. If not, I have immorally jumped the gun on the facts AND wasted your time. More to follow...? YOUR #1 source for sketch comedy group-provided sports news.


Monica said...

just checked the wires for you, geoff. (because I have access to 'the wires'). There are no reports on this Palmiero story. FAN's on their own on this one.

monica hill. YOUR #2 source for sketch comedy group-provided sports news.

christopher said...

Can I be #3?

Geoffrey said... Monica. Chris. FEARLESS JOURNALISM.

Geoffrey said...

Monica said...

yup. breaking news. hit the wires about 2 minutes after I reported the wires were empty.

damn those slow wires...

Alex said...

Pretend I don't know anything about sports:

Why is this the biggest story of the year?

Now pretend that I'm a guy, and my name is Alex.

Chris S. said...

Pretend Guy Alex,

Here's the Cliff's Notes version of why this is huge news, directly citing ESPN's story from today:

"Rafael Palmeiro was suspended Monday for violating Major League Baseball's steroids policy, nearly five months after telling Congress that 'I have never used steroids. Period.'

"Palmeiro two weeks ago collected his 3,000th hit, joining Hank Aaron, Willie Mays and Eddie Murray as the only players with 3,000 hits and 500 homers.

"Palmeiro, 40, is the seventh and highest-profile player to test positive under the major league policy adopted earlier this year."

In other words, the credentials of an almost-certain Hall-of-Famer now are highly questionable. (Every player to gather at least 3,000 hits or 500 home runs is in the Hall of Fame). Also, it appears evident that the Viagra isn't the only thing helping him to swing a big bat.

Geoffrey said...

Reasons why this is the biggest story in baseball this year:

-Rafael Palmeiro got his 3000th hit (a major milestone) this year, putting him at the forefront of the news all season.

-Rafael Palmeiro is one of four players to hit 500 HR's and get 3000 hits, along with Hank Aaron, Willie Mays and Eddie Murray. That means he probably would have gone to the Hall of Fame, as of yesterday.

-Rafael Palmeiro said this in front of Congress: "Let me start by telling you this: I have never used steroids. Period. I don't know how to say it any more clearly than that. Never."

-Rafael Palmeiro took whatever substance he took after saying all of that.

-All other stories are allegations. The former steroid poster boy, Jason Giambi, still hasn't admitted anything, nor has he tested positive.

This all being said, it is possible Raffy took something less definitive than injectible steroids, such as a banned suplement. More information is necessary.

But don't worry. Monica, Chris and I are on it.

Geoffrey said...

I got scooped!

Chris S. said...

Don't feel bad, Geoff. It's my job, after all.