In the spirit of Stefan’s excellent fan art, I’d like to submit the following:
On the way down to last month’s DC Comedy Festival, I ate a BMT sandwich at Subway. And though I’m not exactly sure how, I believe it’s what caused me to be very sick and slightly crazy the entire weekend. Please understand: it wasn’t the usual barfy/crappy/food poisoning sick. Rather, when we weren’t performing or rehearsing, I was pretty much bedridden with this strange, delirious, achy exhaustion and either sleeping or watching TV.
That was when I watched Garfield: The Movie, and that was when I actually kind of liked it a little bit I think.
So there, I said it. But again, keep in mind I was in the middle of mysterious subway sandwich induced dementia and I obviously haven’t seen Garfield again since then and also at the time I was probably comparing it to Flintstones: The Movie which was the only other movie playing at the time of viewing.
Anyway, I’ve been thinking about approaching Subway about what happened, though not to complain. I’d actually like to better understand how eating their product could somehow drastically increase my tolerance for the crappy and mundane. My Garfield experience made me wonder: if I had the opportunity to cure myself of esoterically high standards, would I? It’s kinda like the plot of a popular movie soon to be awesome. Not that my picky taste is a mutant power or anything. My mutant power is exceptionally dry skin. Hand skin.
Monday, May 08, 2006
I LOVE Hating Mondays!
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2 comments:
We need t-shirts that say
"eating their product could somehow drastically increase my tolerance for the crappy and mundane"
Jesus performed many miracles. Curing the blind, the deaf, leprosy, etc. He even raised Lazarus from the dead.
But there is a little known story from the New Testament that might serve you well, Christopher.
One fine day a man approached, fell on his knees at Jesus' feet and beseeched Him, "My Lord and my God, please cure me, wretched and unworthy though I am, I beg thee from the core of my being - remove from life my uncontrollable inclination to manifest that which is worse than the plague - for it is true and unfortunate Lord that I seem to be always and forever under the influence of esoterically high standards. Oh how I long to be more like the common man. Forever will I serve thee if only thou can grant moi my prayer."
Jesus said, "Ooh that's a tough one. I'll have to get back to you on that."
PS Jesus never did get back to him.
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