Monday, May 08, 2006

Reasons Why My New Apartment Is Better Than My Old Apartment

My rent is much cheaper.

It has a shower.

It has a sink in the bathroom.

My new roommate is my friend and not my control-freak landlord.

My new landlord is not a control-freak.

There aren't any lobster-shaped cake molds that look like a penis hanging in the kitchen.

My bedroom is approximately 1000 times larger now.

Brooklyn is hipper than Manhattan if by "hipper" you mean "less convenient".

I can see the Statue of Liberty as opposed to the Empire State Building. That might be a push, actually.

I live there.

1 comments:

N K said...

Reasons why Vorpulon is better than a Banana
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It has a shower

It has a mergutron in the frimpilator

Vorpulon is a place(?)
Vorpulon can also be spelled CARFEdfd’d, Banana can only be spelled Banana

Vorpulon has the capacity to house the eternal souls of every member of Curtis Mayfield’s backing band, keeping them safe while still allowing their soulful funk to reverberate through the fabric of the cosmos.

Vorpulon Splits not only taste better, they also contain less ant semen

If Vorpulon were not an imaginary concept I made up that may or may not also be a location, Geoff would most certainly choose to live there over a banana (to live in, not to eat. Bananas are good to eat. Eat a banana.)