Friday, May 19, 2006

Punching Judy

Bad: Finding someone so annoying that, when you talk to them, all you can think about is what they'd look like if you punched them in the face.

Worse, But Funnier: Sitting below that person in a chair, while they stand up, so you'd have to uppercut them in the face.

It may just be me that finds uppercuts funnier. Also, I probably would find it equally unfunny to be punched in the face, versus uppercut in the face.

Also, despite the title of this post, I would never punch a lady in the face.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Then you would've found it HILARIOUS when I got punched in the face during rehearsals a few years back. We were rehearsing a scene in which I was a 40's era cop getting roughed up by some thugs. We were coreographing a very cartoony fight. I was in cement shoes with my hands tied behind my back. The guy playing the thug was Andy Lindberg (not a small man...he played "Lardass" in Stand By Me...we often refer to him as "The Strongest Man In The World"). The idea was that he would punch me in the stomach and I would bend over. Then he would uppercut and I'd throw my head and torso back. We got 2 cycles in before our timing unsynched. That's when Andy's ginormous meathook connected with my nose in a full on uppercut. My nose split at the pronounced ridge (or crook) with a horrifying crack. Blood immediately poured from my nose into my hands. I ran to the bathroom while the rest of the cast freaked out. Then, the coolest part about it was that my face went numb and I was able to push my broken nose back and forth...JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIES!

But that was the only cool thing. The rest of the month & a half of face bandages and black eyes sucked. A lot.

Andy ended up writing a heartbreaking song/sketch about it for a later show in which we re-enacted the whole ordeal.

Geoffrey said...

Jesus Christ, Ted.

I understand it was a long time ago, but are you OK?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Geoff, I'm ok. The Vicodin was good. And Andy bought me a video game as a get-well-and-please-don't-hate-me gift.

It's funny, cuz my nose has always been kind of crooked from almost any angle. And people have always asked me if I had broken it (never really considering that it might be a rude question). I always had the satisfaction of telling them that, no, it had never been broken and then watching the wave of guilt and embarassment wash over their face.

Now, my nose is crooked in a slightly different way, so people still ask the question. And while I've lost the satisfaction of saying no, I have gained a fun/gross story. Everybody wins.