So, I vehemently disagree with Geoff's defense of "My Humps," the worst song ever created in the history of this planet.
But I thought it necessary to mention that my current freelance job is to edit a completely kid-friendly version of this song. Because some little kids are doing a dance recital and someone thought this song would be appropriate.
So this not only means I have to remove profanity, but any references to sex and drinking and "junk in trunk," "mix your milk with my cocoa puff," etc. This proved very difficult, considering my only feasible means of censoring the song involved replacing lyrics with either silence or other lyrics from the song, like "hey" or "love." I'm pretty sure that this resulted in a better version of the song, though.
And now, without any further adue, the lyrics to Black-Eyed Peas' newest children's song, "My Love":
---
Whatcha gonna do with all that junk?
All that junk, all that junk?
(silence, instead of "my lovely lady lumps," etc.)
Check it out!
I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ices.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and then Donna
Karan, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin' fly
But I ain't askin,
They say they love my accent
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,
I say no, but they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't taken
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrating
my love, my love my love!
you know my love my love!
(silence)
they got you
she's got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me
Whatcha gonna do with all that junk?
All that junk, junk?
(silence, no response from the girl)
Whatcha gonna do with all that HEY?
all that HEY, all that HEY?
i'm gonna make make make you scream
make you scream make you scream
(silence instead of lumps)
check it out!
I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
let's spend time not money
let's spend time not money
let's spend time not money
hey hey hey let's go
hey hey hey let's go
hey hey hey let's go
(silence instead of verse about feeling my hump/lump)
start some drama!
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
(silence instead of more humps)
she's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.
whatcha gonna do with all that junk
all that junk, all that junk?
(no response from girl about getting love drunk)
Whatcha gonna do with all that HEY?
all that HEY, all that HEY?
i'm gonna make make make you scream
make you scream make you scream
whatcha gonna do with all that junk
all that junk, all that junk?
(again, silence)
Whatcha gonna do with all that HEY?
all that HEY, all that HEY?
I'm gonna make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.
----
It's actually a much, much better song now. Still more or less crappy, but not terrifyingly awful as before. If anyone wants the mp3, holla.
Monday, June 05, 2006
Worst Song EVER (post #2)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
How about replacing the profanity/objectionable content with wacky sound effects? And changing the context by having a costumed female camel onstage?
Here is an interesting mashup of this song with AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long"
Bad, yes, but worst song ever? "My Humps" is downright Fneh compared to everybody's least favorite white frat boys tryin' to sound all tough in LFO's "Summer Girls."
Lowlights include:
The nauseating chorus...
New Kids On The block had a bunch of hits.
Chinese food makes me sick.
And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer.
For the summer.
... awful, name-dropping verse rhyme schemes that attempt to be clever but just plain suck ...
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet.
Billy Shakespere wrote a whole bunch of sonnets. ...
Fell deep in love, but now we ain't speakin'.
Michael J Fox was Alex P. Keaton. ...
There was a good man named Paul Revere.
I feel much better baby when you're near.
... and a face-punchingly awful bridge.
In the summertime girls got it goin' on.
Shake and wiggle to a hip hop song.
Summertime girls are the kind I like.
I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike.
Additional points off for blatantly ripping off the chord progression from Extreme's "More Than Words."
Anyone who argues otherwise is wrong. Wrong, I tells you!
D'oh... accidentally clicked "Anonymous" for that post. I want everyone to know that that LFO diatribe was mine. There, I feel cleansed.
Yeah, I thought that LFO song was ridiculously stupid too. But then, one day, I realized I liked it and couldn't possibly care at all that it was stupid. And that it in fact was that sort of brilliantly stupid that only comes along once in a while. And then I karaoke'd to it, and had an AWESOME time.
For extra credit, everybody should check out one of their lesser hits, "Every Other Time" in which the following lyrics are also brilliantly stupid:
"Sometimes we sit around
Just the two of us on the park bench
Sometimes we swim around
Like the dolphins in the ocean of our hearts
But then I think about the time
When we broke up before the prom
And you told everyone that I was gay.
Okay."
I love the Lyte Funkie Ones.
OK, fair enough. LFO has been upgraded to love-hate in my book. I guess it is possible to laugh at a group while laughing with them while still laughing very hard at them.
"I'm going to make you scream" is okay, but mixing milk with cocoa puffs isn't?
Nice Blog. I will keep reading. Please take the time and visit my blog about: Internet Marketing and Making Money Online
MajorEnterprise
There is alot of debate whether you can Make Easy Money Online and with so many scams out there it is bound to be a little bit dishearting!
So are there any legit ways to Make Easy Money Online?
Well, Yes you will be glad to know there are legit ways to Make Easy Money Online the only thing is all of them require hard work!
I know there are websites out there that claim you can become a millionaire overnight but if you think about it this is just not plausible!
That said with a bit of work on your part you will be suprised how easy it is to Make Easy Money Online and you should start off by searchnig for more info on Google and maybe join a few groups with like minded people!
If you really want to know how to Make Easy Money Online I would suggest investing in this manual, but only if you are serious as they will give you the keys to the door but you must open it so to speak!
One guide I would recommend that was created by an internet marketing genius, Carael Knight that made it big is called "How To Get Rich Selling Information Through Classified Ads"!
For more info on MajorEnteprise and how you can start to Make Easy Money Online, click the link below:
Make Easy Money Online
Post a Comment