Monday, July 17, 2006

Instant Kitsch

I just saw the least likely jersey I've ever seen worn by someone who was not that person: that of Cincinnati Reds utility player Ryan Freel.

Now admittedly, Ryan Freel is having an excellent season, his best. But he's still a utility man. And he still plays for the Cincinnati Reds. And an excellent year for a utility man has him on pace for nine home runs. So why did I just see someone wearing his jersey? There are three possible reasons I can think of:

1) It was someone trying to be ironic, but a little too soon. As if to say "Remember Ryan Freel? Wasn't that wacky when he had that great year in 2006? Sigh. I'm hilarious. What year is it?"

2) Ryan Freel is very attractive. I personally can neither confirm nor deny this, but the jersey-wearer was a woman and people wearing the gear of people whom they are attracted to has been known to happen. Just look at how many Derek Jeter jerseys there are around, or in my case, how often I wear my Jewel false teeth. Sigh.

3) The person was from Cincinnati and likes the Reds.

Possibility 3 is easily the least likely.


Not Ryan Freel said...

Freel's For Real!

Freel is the Real Deal!

Freel is the Red Menace!

Freel Gets the Not-Reds Out!

Freel's like Jeter on roids!

Freel's freeky like freemasons!

Freel's So Good!

Chris S. said...

Don't discount the "I'm the athlete's relative" scenario. I think family members are solely responsible for any Spike Owen replica jersey ever made.

Geoffrey said...

Jesus. Spike Owen.

It's like it's 1993 all over again.

dusty said...

trust me, when you were a mariners' fan in the early/mid 80's, you had to root for "who sucked the least". that left spike owen a possibility. but me, i always considered myself a rey quinones man....

he was the equivalent of "tits", i guess

Chris S. said...

Related. (To this post, not Ryan Freel.)