Monday, October 02, 2006

Harry Potter & The Cerebral Cortex

Two things you should know:

1) I have a good memory. It’s by no means excellent, and often times scattered. But all in all, it’s pretty damn good.

2) I’ve read all the Harry Potter books and I’ve actively enjoyed them. To the point where I genuinely hope JK Rowling doesn’t die or get amnesia or anything. At least not before finishing the series.

Yet, if you were to casually ask about any specific Harry Potter detail or plot line or character, I’d probably have to sit down indian style with my head in my hands for a good three minutes before supplying a somewhat confident and barely accurate answer. The expression In one ear and out the other would explain it perfectly if I knew how to read books with my ears.

Anyway, I’m happy to say both Stefan and Geoff share my sentiment, and I’m even happier to say that we’ve developed an exciting theory to explain Harry Potter’s near-instant forgettability:

You know how excessive drinking and pot-smoking and head-butting all cause common and minor forms of brain damage? WELL. I believe that JK Rowling has somehow developed a writing style so unique, that once it finds its way into your brain, it settles into the neuron/synapse clusters that—when your brain gets even the slightest bit hurt—are the very first to die. In other words, all those delightful Harry Potterisms are somehow deposited right on the very front line of your personal and persistent brain damage war. And more often than not, they’re destroyed right away.

Geoff took the theory a step further, claiming it was the actual meninges that soak up any and all Potter knowledge. And though I’m still skeptical, I've yet to meet a meningitis patient who can successfully name all four houses of Hogwarts.


Queen of the Worms said...

Haha. That was good. And probably true in many cases. Though not all. For some very obscure reason people actually seem to dote on the moron.


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Anonymous said...

so what you are saying is 'don't waste the time reading them as you won't remember anyway. Just tell everyoen you did and it was fun.'

thanks. I won't.

mary said...

me too! and i even have the same problem with the movies. i'm very visual - i learn and remember best after having seen something, so i have tried to remember the Harry Potter stories by watching and rewatching the movies. except it doesn't work! i can't even remember if i've seen them all now, and have more than once realized this isn't a new one, i've seen it before. there's only 2 movies, right? stop head-butting me...

Alex said...

Have you considered the possiblity that you guys are totally stupid?