Monday, January 29, 2007

End Of The Line

The next time you happen to feel a little down about your job situation, I suggest taking a trip over to your local Whole Foods Natural Market. Not because of the delicious food that all kinda tastes the same. No, the reason you should go to Whole Foods is ‘cause that’s where you’ll encounter the person with the most hilariously horrible job ever. And if Misery loves anything, it’s seeing someone fifty times worse off than you are.

I’m talking about the worker paid to stand at the very end of the super-long Whole Foods express line and hold up a large sign that reads, “END OF EXPRESS LINE STARTS HERE,” with a big ol' silly arrow pointing down at their head.

Now I’m a pretty patient guy, but if I have to wait in a line for longer than five minutes I start freaking out—in that horrible, eye-rolling, gruffly-muttering-to-oneself sort of way. And if people start cutting me? Forget it. The injustice alone makes me quiver with rage.

So imagine having to stand at the very end of a line for the registers, with everyone and anyone cutting in front of you, for hours at a time. And not only that: you have to advertise it to everybody with a huge sign, as if you’re protesting the fact that not enough people realize how painful your job is. Amazing.

Thank you, Whole Foods.


Clinton said...

Dude, I used to work at Whole Foods (I made your overpriced pizzas) and, no joke, that job was given to people as punishment. Same with the people who "run the line;" basically they stand there and point to which register you're supposed to go to. Heads exploded from boredom. At least I had the unending joy of a big hot oven to throw junk into for entertainment.

christopher said...

Ha. That's great. Whenever I go, it's always the same poor older woman who's doing it. Guess I won't feel bad for her anymore.

Clinton said...

They may well have changed their policy on that; It's been over a year since I worked there. I just know that when I was there, it was always the slack-ass checkers that got stuck back there.