Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Oh Let Me Be Your Teddy Graham

So I recently ate a box of honey-flavored whole wheat Teddy Grahams. They were delicious. The back of the box was less delicious though.

Most prominently there is a "recipe" for what they call a Teddy Milk Float. To make one all you have to do is:

-POUR 1 cup fat free milk into a tall glass or large mug. A picture of glass of milk provides a visual aid.
-ADD 24 TEDDY GRAHAMS Honey Graham Snacks, a few at a time. OK...
-SERVE with a long spoon to scoop out and eat the graham snacks, and a fun straw to slurp up the milk.

If you're just going to eat the Teddy Grahams and milk separately, why are you putting them in the milk? They don't soak it up. I tried.

So OK, they're giving you suggestions on how to eat their product. Not unheard of. But then comes the quote:

"Mom, spark your child's imagination with this fun snack activity!"

Putting things in things is creative? Listening to directions is creative?

Last and most distressingly and very, very small comes:

FUN IDEA: "Hiding" TEDDY GRAHAMS Snacks makes drinking milk even more fun for kids.

There are two possibilities for hiding Teddy Grahams in your kid's milk:
1) The child is going to notice the hidden Teddy Grahams in their milk.
2) The child is going to choke on the hidden Teddy Grahams in their milk.

Anyway, that's about all I have to say on Teddy Grahams. Ooh, one more thing, honey flavored ones are good but I prefer chocolate. And cinnamon is just awful. OK that's it for real now.


missel said...

I think Teddy Grahams are perhaps the most overlooked snack food out there. Simply delicious. I prefer the honey or the chocolate chip, and I certainly like the chocolate. The cinnamon ones are, as you say, sort of gross.

In college, I was eating a handful of Teddy Grahams in the bathroom for some odd reason, and one dropped out of my hand and fell in that little hard-to-clean crack behind the faucet. I left it there for some reason, and at the end of the year one if us (Ankur?) found it covered in mold. The point of this story is to make you throw up, Geoff.

Allen Strickland Williams said...

Geoff, I gotta say my biggest critique of this post is that it isn't actually a song parody of "Let me Be Your Teddy Bear" as I had hoped.

Try harder!

Alex said...

Considering this post is long, about (technically) cereal, and the writer's feelings, I'm going to assume it was actually written by Chris.

Jeff said...

i second alex's statement.

Geoffrey said...

Andrew: I already heard and threw up to that story.

Allen: That was actually the theme song they used in commercials back in the day. Anything I brought to the table would be Geoffrey-come-lately.

Alex and Jeff: This is actually Chris under Geoff's name. I've haxx0red hiz manefraim.

Ankur said...