Monday, November 05, 2007

I Am Trashcan: Marshmallow Peeps Cocoa Cats

So here's a funny nickname I have: Trash Can. I got this nickname because I like to make my friends laugh and have a good time, so I buy the weirdest food I can find at truck stops, and eat it. And in return for the all the fun I give them, they call me Trash Can. Unbelievable.

Anyway, for my birthday, the boys in Elephant Larry got me a trash can filled with ridiculous candy, and I thought it would be nice to share my disgusting odyssey with all of you. So each day, I'll eat and review a new piece of candy.

Marshmallow Peeps Cocoa Cats: Okay, so I probably should have reviewed this one back on Halloween, but several things happened:

1) I was very busy.

2) We had a bowl of actually reasonably good candy left over from Halloween.

3) I got two cakes for my birthday*.

Because of these three reasons, I've been uninclined to stuff my face with candy that makes me ill for the rest of the day. But I'm back, baby!

Okay, so first of all, I'm a fan of regular Peeps. They're gross, and chewy, but sweet, and I like having one or two around Easter time. What I do NOT like doing is eating a whole package. These Cocoa Cats are, essentially, two entire packages of Peeps.

I'm also concerned that the cocoa flavor will either taste too artificial, or amp up the sweetness to a ridiculous degree. If they taste like actual bittersweet cocoa dusted on marshmallow peeps, then I'll be a happy man.

Okay, on to the tasting!

- First off, opening the package definitely releases a nice smell of cocoa. Sort of like Swiss Miss, actually, which isn't a huge surprise.

- They're soft. Like, super soft. Peeps often have almost a hard shell around them because of the sugar, but these have either no sugar, and just cocoa, or they've been sitting on my floor too long.

- Also, they look nothing like cats:

- Actually, don't know if I'm going over the top on pictures here, but I think if you don't look at the faces, they look a lot more like chicken nuggets.

- First thought on taste: they taste like Marshmallows, and nothing like cocoa. They're also REALLY soft. And totally fine. Not too sweet, not too artificial. These are totally fine.

- Quite opposite from the Sun Chips, these are a mess to eat. It's really hard to eat and type, as I keep having to lick my fingers, which, though dusted in the "cocoa," taste like nothing. Nothing except "finger."

- There you go... Tear its head off, and it looks like a cat:

- Yes, two Peeps is quite enough for me.

- By the third one, this is starting to taste bad. The sweetness is building up, and the "cocoa" powder is creating a sour taste in the back of my mouth.

- I'm starting to taste the cocoa? Maybe?

- Those four Cocoa Cats left are mocking me right now. Who would have thought it would be this difficult to eat eight pieces of candy. Not six year old Alex Zalben, I'll tell you that.

- Hey, let's take a break for science!

When you're talking about Peeps, your mind will instantly go to Microwaving a Peep. At least, my mind does, and I was curious to see if the Cocoa Cat molecules would interact differently with the microwave than their Regular Peep Counterparts.

While I don't have any regular Sugar Bird Peeps around the house, I do have a video of one exploding in the microwave I found on YouTube:

And now, for your enjoyment, here's a video I made of a Cocoa Cat in the microwave; let's see if it has the same effect.

[Okay, so I have to run off right now, and can't embed the video here in Blogspot, so click this link to check it out. I'll have it up in the post later today.]

Yup, and actually, somewhat more dramatic. I had to cut it short, because it was starting to burn, and as much as I love you guys, I'm not going to burn my house down for a joke.

Back to the eating!

- The best part about doing the above is, I don't have to eat one of the Peeps**.

- I've decided to eat the rest of the Peeps in one bite, to get this over with. Here goes...

- Oh man, bad idea. I can actually feel my stomach turning over right now. Blech.

All in all, Marshmallow Peeps Cocoa Cats are a totally fine candy. They don't taste at ALL of cocoa, so you're just as well served going to grab regular Peeps. My word of caution though: Limit yourself. Three and a half out of five trash cans.

*I just want to clarify that I haven't eaten two entire cakes by myself. It was close, but I think someone else might have had a slice of one of them at some point.

**So you know, I literally can not eat the one that was in the microwave. It's been fused with the plate. Trust me when I say, I would have eaten a giant burnt Peep for you, if I could have.