The Name Game

Even back when I was a wee boy, (and not a Wii boy like I am today!!!) I took a great interest in the Democratic process. At age 4, I cared about the presidential election between Ronald Reagan and Walter Mondale very deeply and passionately. I had no political mindset mind you, but I did have a strongly held belief: that Ronald Reagan was a much more hilarious name that Walter Mondale. After all, he was named after Ronald McDonald. My vote went to Reagan.

Next came the NYC mayoral elections of 1985. I didn't even know who Koch was going against... Wikipedia tells me it was Diane McGrath. But he needn't have worried. His name was far more hilarious. It rhymed with butterscotch. New York City agreed with me, giving Koch 78% of the vote.

The 1988 presidential elections were a bit tougher. I was a pretty innocent kid and didn't have the dirtiest of minds, so the names Bush and Dukakis (doo-cocky) really didn't hold much allure for me. So I defaulted to Bush, because that was a word I knew. You know, like a rose bush. Anyway, Bush won.

1989 mayor? David Dinkins vs. Ed Koch, and I completely jumped ship. Sure, Koch rhymed with butterscotch, but Dinkins? That's like Dinkins DONUTS. I was 100% onboard. And then he won.

The governor's race during this whole time was a very easy choice for me too. How does a grade school kid pick against a guy named Mario?

Then the 90's came and I realized it was silly to base my political beliefs on the coolness of a candidate's name.

Until now! Barack Obama is the best name ever! Four more years! Four more years!