Friday, August 15, 2008

"Would you like some hot dogs with that?"

...is now, officially, my new favorite phrase ever spoken by a human being.

When I got asked that at the Regal Cinemas in Times Square last night, here are my thoughts, in order:

- "Really? They actually make you guys say that?"

- "What? With my bag of candy?"

- "Hot dogs are a side dish?"

- "I don't know, maybe."

- "Wait, no, I don't want any hot dogs."

- "I don't know, you do like hot dogs."

- "Yeah, true. And, it would be pretty hilarious to eat hot dogs at midnight."

- "And then you could blog about it!"

- "That's true. That would be funny..."

- "There you go. How many do you want?"

- "No, come on, I don't need hot dogs. I'm not even hungry. I'm only treating myself to candy because I'm upset that I have to see a Midnight showing of Clone Wars."

- "Yeah, what's up with that?"

- "I have to review it, and have the review up first thing in the morning."

- "Uh. I'm sorry, that sucks."

- "Yeah... It's cool. Thanks, though."

- "Hey, you know what would make you feel better?"

- "What?"

- "Hot dogs."

- "Yeah, that's true, I... WAIT A SECOND! Stop tricking me."

- "I'm not! Hot dogs."

- "Come on, stop it!"

- "Red Bull."

- "Now you're just quoting the Yes Man trailer."

- "Shhh... The movie's starting."

[90 Minutes Later]

- "Hey, wake up, the movie's over."

- "Huh? What? Did they resolve anything?"

- "I don't know, I was asleep, too. You want to grab a hot dog before we head home?"

- "Oh, you."

[The End]

2 comments:

Murchie said...

I like "grab a hot dog" as a phrase. "awwww, go grab a hot dog whydontcha?"

Lindsay Evelyn said...

My senior year of high school, I worked at a movie theatre and we were having a contest among the concessionists to see who could sell six hot dogs first. And so I asked everyone pretty much that exact same question you were asked. When my number was at three, the most beautiful man I'd ever seen came to my register and I pitched him on those hot dogs like nobody's business, but he refused. Then after he was done, I apologized and explained why I was so persistent about the hot dogs. So he asked how many more I needed. I said, "Three." And he said, "I'll take three hot dogs please." And I was so in love with him in that moment, that without even thinking, I said, "Really? Will you marry me?" And after getting his three hot dogs, he all but ran from my register. The end.