Totally Secret Comedy Shows

I have no idea who is performing at these! Seriously! And it's not us! But I'm passing this along for a friend! Who is not me!


You are invited to enjoy some of the funniest stand-up comedians performing their best material. And, we’ll be filming them (and maybe YOU in the audience) for a new series of comedy films. The films will be shown in movie theaters all across the country.

Stand-Up 360 will be filmed LIVE in four shows over two days…
Monday, March 2, 2009 & Wednesday, March 4, 2009
at The Broadway Comedy Club
318 West 53rd Street, NYC
Admission and Snacks are FREE, but there is a two drink minimum per person.

Come to one or more or all of them…..

Monday, March 2nd at 5:00 pm
STAND-UP 360…All Star Comedy Line-Up
A secret celebrity host and 6 of the best and brightest comedians.

Monday, March 2nd at 9:30pm
STAND-UP 360…All Star Comedy Line-Up
A second show loaded with laughs.

Wednesday, March 4th at 5:00pm
Stand-Up 360…Muy Caliente!
Hosted by Erik Rivera. The hottest Latino comedians from coast to coast

Wednesday, March 4th at 9:30pm
Stand-Up 360…Inside OUT!
ONE Surprise Celebrity Host plus EIGHT wildly funny OUT LOUD AND PROUD comedians.

For Reservations, more info or any questions…
you must rsvp
212 757 2323

Seriously, 100%, I have nothing to do with this other than doing a friend a favor.

Godspeed You Apples!

In more apple-related news: The Apple Sisters are leaving town for California, and I'm sure gonna miss 'em. The Apiary has a thing on them today with a coupla words from me in it.

Bon Voyage, Apples!! See you soon I hope!

RIP George Carlin

I was actually wondering recently what kind of celebrity would have to die for it to really get me. Well here it is.

George Carlin, Splenetic Comedian, Dies at 71

I've never laughed harder than when I watched George Carlin as a teenager. And I wonder if he would be annoyed or bemused that the word 'splenetic' was used in his obituary headline.

This Post is NSFW, OR Andrew Dice Clay Works Out His Comeback Comedy Routine

- An apple a day keeps the doctor sucking my dick!

- Hickory Dickory Dock, suck my dick!

- If a tree falls in the forest, who's going to suck my dick?

- What is the sound of one dick being sucked? Suck my dick!

- Hey, anybody want to suck my dick?

- Hey you, could you please suck my dick? I really need someone to suck my dick.

- What about you? No? Okay, I guess I'll suck my OWN dick.

- I can't do it.

...

- Someone push my head down a bit, okay?

- Ow, no, that hurts. OW.

- Okay, I definitely can't do it. Wait, one more try.

- Nope.

- This sucks.

- My dick! It sucks my dick!

- Suck my dick!

- So, what's the deal with these airline peanuts? Do they suck my dick, or what?