My Sugarplum Nightmare

I just finished making spiced sugarplums for New Years, and...

First off, let me interrupt your train of thought. Yes, I know New Years is two days from now, but I'm attempting at least four different cooking projects, so anything I can do in advace is helpful. These spiced sugarplums can be made at least one week in advance.

Second off, let me further interrupt your train of thought. Sugarplums are real, and in fact, they have nothing to do with plums. They are usually spiced fruit and nuts, mashed into a ball shape, and covered in light sugar. However, in this case, I was making literal sugar plums, i.e., spiced plums, mashed with sugar. Its actually more of a jelly than a plum shape, which is why sugarplums are named after plums (their shape). I think that cleared things up.

Now, back to our story. So I'm cooking this sugarplum jelly, and I notice a chunk has stuck my spoon, which I had placed on the counter. Forgetting that I've been cooking this mixture at high heats for about 30 minutes, I grab the chunk of sugarplum with my fingers.

Instantly, I get burned, because I'm an idiot, and you should never grab boiling food with your fingers. So I instinctivly try to shake off the sugarplums, but that doesn't work, so my first non-instinctive thought is, "Stick it in your mouth! That'll cool it down!"

Have I mentioned I'm an idiot.

So now, I take the burning hot sugarplum mixture that's stuck to my fingers, and stick it in my mouth, where it, surprisingly, burns my mouth.

Finally, I realize I'm standing in front of the sink, and I stick my mouth and hand under the running water, which, of course, I had accidentally switched to hot, not cold.

End conclusion: It was worth it. Sure I burned my mouth and right hand, but that sugarplum mixture is freaking delicious.