Monday, November 14, 2005

WikiHorror

OK, blog, I'll admit it. I have one phobia. It's not spiders, snakes, rats, heights, crowds, stage or any of those other frights one typically has. My one phobia is horror movies.

You can stop laughing at me now.

My problem with horror movies is all the gore and suspense and incredibly strong sympathy pains I get from even hearing about someone getting their jaw ripped off the wrong way by a machine. What I unfortunately like about horror movies is that the plots can be so twist-laden and gimmicky I still kind of want to know what happens in them.

For example, when I went to see "Scream" in the theater I alternated between marvelling at how cool the plot was and breaking out into cold sweats and almost vomitting. And, yes, covering my eyes.

So what I'm saying is, even though I'm afraid of horror movies, I actually like a good gimmicky plot intensive kill-by-kill gorefest. Just minus the gore.

Instead of continuing in confession mode, as Mr. Prinicipe did so ably heyah, let me take you into solution mode.

Wikipedia.

Want to know all the crazy messed-up things that guy did in "Saw"? Wiki it.

Want to know all the crazy messed-up things that guy did again in "Saw 2"? Wiki it.

For some reason really dying to know what happened to the "People Under The Stairs?" Too bad, Wikipedia doesn't have that one. OK, my solution's not perfect. But you don't want to see that movie anyway. I actually saw that one and it's ridiculous.

So there you are, my Wiki solution. I'm sure there are websites actually specifically designed for this purpose like, upon minimal research, these. But those don't come with the Geoff Haggerty stamp of approval, so read at your own risk.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go read "House of Wax."

1 comments:

Monica said...

i have the same problem--when I stumble across scary movies on television. I developed a technique which entails finding a 'safe' show on another channel and then flipping back and forth between the two channels as fast as possible. This enables you to get the plot of the scary movie, but without all the scary music and tension-building camera angles. The gorier/scarier it gets, the longer you stay on the 'safe' channel.