The Only Thing Worse Than Watching American Idol

...is watching American Idol with no sound and closed captioning.

Seriously, try it:

~you can't hear the singing,
~but you can read all the horrible song lyrics,
~which actually don't seem nearly as horrible once you're reading the judges' super-horrible commentary.

But bewarned: once open, such portals to the infinitely inane are difficult to close...