Contractually Obligated Snakes on a Plane Post

All kidding aside, folks, here's our state mandated blog post about Snakes on a Plane:

Reality Show
"I'm sorry. Your snake has been voted off the plane."

Euphemism
"That dude totally snaked her plane!"

Plea
"For godsakes, please use some SOAP. You smell fucking awful."

There was a time when I was excited to see this movie.