World of Warcraft General Chat Poetry

This is random smatterings of dialogue taken out of context from World of Warcraft's in game general chat. This one may be, unintentionally, the saddest thing I've ever read:

Do You Hate Me?

Do you hate me?
Do you hate me?
Hey.
Do you hate me...
Because I die?

asdjiognakjsdngfaklsndfaksdnmf

(This looks pretty cool too I guess)

Let's Go Jungle!

After a second viewing of Wall-E, Mary Burke and I went across the street to Dave and Busters to use up what we had left of, in total, seven Dave and Busters cards we had accrued over the years. We shot some bears, wolves, alligators and sharks in "Extreme Hunting 2," which sucked. We engaged in a bit of a Time Crisis. We popped a shot. We "slammed the jackpot", which is impossible to describe and not worth it.

Then we consolidated our seven cards into one and had just enough left to play a game called "Let's Go Jungle." Much to our surprise, we started playing THE BEST ARCADE GAME OF ALL TIME.



Not positive if you can tell from the video, but each player controls their own GATLING GUN with infinite ammo and you basically just blast giant tarantulas and dragon flies as hard as you can. You also need to accomplish car turns by slamming the guns to the left, to the right and even down as fast as you can. Does that make sense? No. But it's awesome!

Other reasons this is the best arcade game ever:

- the voice acting is delightfully atrocious... you play as Ben and Norah, a couple who is getting over problems in their relationship by, what else? Going on a jungle safari. Of course, Mary played Ben and I played Norah.

- it's called Let's Go Jungle!, making it the only video game title that is a suggestion to play itself.

- at the Game Over screen, the game gives you a compatibility score, clearly intended for players who are romantically involved. It shows a horribly awkward scene of Ben and Norah chasing each other around, ending with Ben playfully hugging Norah from behind with a huge heart graphic behind them. I have no idea what this actually measures, but it is a brilliant idea. Mary and I scored a 73%, which was deemed "Lovers, as far as appearances. Now show how you feel!", clearly indicating that Mary and I should kiss. We did of course, and subsequently fell in love and got married. All thanks to Let's Go Jungle!

Holy Lord

I haven't been this excited for a video game since Mega Man 6.

Mega Man 9

Update: WOW

Just so everyone knows, I am working on my leather crafting. I'm just an Apprentice right now, but I hope to work my way up to Journeyman very soon.

Also, I should really stop playing this game. I have work to do.

Goodbye

I just found out that Blizzard offers a free, ten day trial of World of Warcraft for the Mac.

It was nice knowing all of you.

Battle Raper 2

At first, you're all like "Haha, this is a straight forward fighting game, with a terrible Engrish title."

Then, about two minutes in, it takes a startling left turn.

Then, at about three minutes in, it's totally NSFW.

Then, at about four minutes in, you feel uncomfortable and dirty.

And then you post it on your blog.

Most Glorious Video Game For Smashing Greatest Japanese Sales Records: Number One in All of Country and City!

Halo

Someone with an Xbox explain this to me. Is it really THAT good?

Blast From The Past

I'm sure you'll all remember this blogpost of February 25th, 2005, wherein I lamented the loss of Metroid Prime: Echoes. It features what is probably some of my best writing and is a prime (pardon the pun!) example of what I refer to as my "late-mid video game phase." Really, just excellent stuff.

Now of course, here I am in September 2007, in my "mid-late video game phase," playing the next installment of Metroid Prime, entitled "Metroid Prime 3: Corruption." And it's really just not that different. The style is still the same, the game is still great, and the only real difference is that you push and pull the Wii-mote closer to the screen to open certain types of doors. Which some may refer to as "lame" but I refer to as "awesome."

In other worsd, Geoff from the past needn't have worried! He's such a simpleton.

Geoff from the future though? Whoa. I hate that guy.