4,096 Teams

Script und Idea!


NCAA Expands March Madness To Include 4,096 Teams

Super Bowl Tweets

I don't know how much I like Twitter, but I do know how much I love this.

Football Coach Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team

Idea and co-wrote the script!


Football Coach Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team

Newest Yankee

I'm not sure how I feel about the Yankees acquiring Nick Swisher from a baseball perspective, but I certainly laughed at this video.  Not so much the concept, which is fine, but some of the deliveries toward the end.  He's no Eli Manning, but he'll do just fine.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Yankees Building New Vacation Stadium In The Hamptons

God bless Yankee Stadium. Wrote this one!


Yankees Building New Vacation Stadium In The Hamptons

The Stadium

Tonight will be the last time I ever go to a Yankee game at Yankee Stadium.


Cry.

Personal Top 9ine Moments at the Stadium:

9) Watching the Red Sox play the Orioles on the big screen during a 1996 rain delay and, get this, ROOTING for the Red Sox. And the Red Sox won! Yay Red Sox!

8) That game where it was really hot and Irabu pitched ok against the Indians. I didn't say they would all be good Moments.

7) Five walk-off homers that weren't #1 or #3: Darryl, Tino, Bernie, Big G and Melky.

6) Sitting through 17 innings of misery as the Yankees COULDN'T SCORE AGAINST THE TIGERS... and then staying for the second half of the doubleheader. That started at 10:40pm.

5) Milestones: Derek Jeter's first game at the Stadium, Don Mattingly's last game at the Stadium, Roger Clemens' 300th W and 4000th K (yuck in retrospect), Bernie Williams 2000th hit, Derek Jeter's Stadium record hit this past Tuesday.

4) Getting so excited over the Yankees beating the Mariners in an April 1997 ballgame that I passed out in the bleachers... well not quite out. I just got a tremendous pain in my noggin and was lying down on the blue metal seats for about give minutes before we finally left. Teenaged Geoff liked the Yankees.

3) The game where the Yankees were losing 8-0 and won. Jorge Posada blocked the plate and hit a homer to do it.

2) The game where the Yankees were losing 8-0 and ALMOST won. Set a personal record for heckling in one game, mainly targeted at the White Sox bullpen, even during a one hour rain delay. Then ragging on White Sox reliever Kelly Wunsch (It's Wunsch-time! Pretty mean, huh?) as he was warming up so hard that he gave up a bases loaded double to Bernie Williams and a single to Tino Martinez. We still lost 10-9 though. Chris was there.

1) Jim Leyritz 1995 - Holy guacamole.*

*Yeesh.

I Will Gladly Schill For Adidas

Wow. I really love this commercial. And not just because of the foxy diver at the end! Rowr!

Food And Sports

Hey everyone, here is my favorite thing we've done at Onion Sports since I got there.

I Never Ask You To Do Anything

But if you could find it in your heart to vote for Jason Giambi to make the All-Star team, that would be great.

Reasons to vote for him:
1) He is deserving
2) He would participate in the Home Run Derby if elected to the All-Star game
3) His mustache is definitely awesome. Evidence: he was endorsed by the American Mustache Institute
4) He admitted to wearing a golden thong when in a slump
5) He took steroids

Oh wait. Ignore that last one. Thanks!

My New Favorite Player

In case you miss it, the pitcher pitches with both hands.

One And A Half Years Late

One of my favorite parts of the 2006 World Series, was that every time Cardinals' pitcher Jeff Suppan would get two strikes on a batter, the St. Louis faithful would yell his nickname in unison:

"Soooooooooooooooooooooooup! Soooooooooooooooooooooooup!"

I think cheering the word soup at the top of your lungs is ridiculous.

Would you like this concept explained for you at length, so that its ridiculousness is completely nullified? Then go to this wikipedia page!

NFL/NHL

Script and idea!

Hockey, right? Psh.


NHL Star Called Up To Big Leagues To Play For NFL Team

WWEesh

I don't normally care about anything, but this was pretty unsettling.

Well Lottie Dod

I really want to know if this person's name was where we got the phrase, "Well la-di-da."

But I definitely doubt it.

My Uncle

I believe I've mentioned this in the past, but my uncle is in the Daily News today!

Go Cornell!

NERD WAR

Cornell vs. Stanford.

I have always hated those damn West Coast nerds. Their fundamentally sound style of play doesn't hold a candle to our fundamentally sound style of play.

We are going to pass, play defense and pass our way to victory!

Go Big Red!

Text Messages I've Received About The Giants This Month

I haven't erased any of my Giants-related text messages in January/February. Let's take a look back.

Giants vs. Cowboys:
- Balllllin!
- We fly high baby
- The curse of jessica simpson continues!
- !!!
- GIANTS WON!!!!

Giants vs. Packers:
- This is a great/terrible game :S
- Incredible.
- This football game is insane. Did you just have a heart attack?
- BREATHE! You'll die!!!!
- (from a Packers fan) *handshake* Man, did we throw that game away... I'll be rooting for NY in the Super Bowl.
- How good does it feel!
- Yay! I am so happy for lawrence tynes. He seems like he's got a lot of heart.
- Congrats baby!
- Congrats buddy
- No fucking way...
- Congrats! Tynes! Tynes! Tynes!

Giants vs. Patriots
- THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST SUPERBOWL EVER!!!
- (in response to my reminding this individual that the Giants had made the Super Bowl) Who?
- Hazzah!
- I just wanted to tell you...Im rooting for the giants for the first time. Ever.
- HOLY CRAP!!
- Doin alright?
- Holy shit
- Better now?
- WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPats suck!
- Yay yay yay yay!
- CHAMPS
- Congratulations
- Ok, how about now? Congrats
- Thanks, from the '72 Dolphins! Miami #1!

Nope. GIANTS #1.

Aftermath:
- 17 - 14
- Pix message of our FOX NFL Robot action figure in the same position David Tyree was when he made his Helmet Catch


* bold all the same person

Puppy Bowl IV

Just a reminder to tune into Animal Planet at three of the clock to check out the best thing* about the SuperBowl: The Puppy Bowl.

They'll be repeating it at 6pm, 9pm, and Midnight (or, possibly, it's running for twelve hours straight; unclear), so you have plenty of chances to catch the most intense display of fuzzy puppies rolling around and playing ever caught on film. I don't know what they're doing this year, but last year saw the addition of the Kitty Half-Time Show, which managed to take this hosanna-inducing event to new levels of revelatory bliss.

This is not hyperbole.

Check out here for more info. Also, check out my extensive wrap-up of Puppy Bowl II.

*Not debatable.

SUPER BOWL

In honor of sports, here are two things I wrote about sports:

1) The new ONN video. Coincidentally, it's the first one that I've written that's been released!


Ngyuen Thi Buch Thuy: 'Just Give Me The Damn Sepak Takraw Ball'

2) This blogpost on the Indecision '08 Blog. I compare the Super Bowl to Super Tuesday kinda! Get it!

Eva Longoria!

Is the top prospect in all of baseball!

The Tampa Bay Rays are going to be set for years, what with her quick wrists and short paths to the ball. Also, I think she'll be helped by her overall sexiness. And she plays third base!

Here is a picture of her: