The Gadsden Purchase

A very funny sketch! Starring Arthur Meyer from Pangea 3000 fame and Mike DiCenzo from Onion fame (the guy with the beard who now writes for the show)!

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon's Theme Music

Just watch the beginning. I dare you to not be pumped.



Now watch the rest!



Is it any good? Gee I don't know if you can make assessments after four episodes... or can you?

Larry King

Another one I forgot to post when it came out! This one the script is mine, idea from the inimitable Scott Sherman.

Why I Honestly Thought I Might Have An Aneurysm* This Past Weekend

This and especially this.

*Or, if you prefer, "Faneurysm." I made that one up, so you can use it.

More Gossip Girl Jokes

Because you demanded it:

Q: What did the Lieutenant say to Serena when he wanted her to move faster?
A: Step Lively!

Q: What two family members teamed up to help Jenny with her dress?
A: A Taylor Mom/sen duo!

Q: Why do all the actors on Gossip Girl have ridiculous names, like Blake Lively, Taylor Momsen, and Penn Badgley?
A: I don't know. I honestly don't know what their problem is.

Gossip Girl Jokes

Q: What is Blair Waldorf's favorite band?
A: Meester Meester!

Q: What did Serena say when she couldn't find Blair?
A: I just Meester!

Q: What is the name of the actress who plays Blair Waldorf on the television show Gossip Girl?
A: Leighton Meester!

It's Always Sunny In My Teeth

I was telling Chris about this the other night. Chris, here you go:



The only thing better than this scene is when Charlie, still casually pulling his teeth out later, wonders if they're his baby teeth.

This Joke Is Too Complicated

I hear Rhianna's next single is called 'Even Stevens.'

I've been wanting to use that joke for months at this point, but there's far too much background necessary to it to be funny. So I'll explain it:

1) Rihanna and Shia Laboeuf dated for a while (and are possibly still dating?)

2) Shia Laboeuf did a movie called Disturbia.

3) Rihanna released a single called Disturbia.

4) Shia Laboeuf became "famous" by appearing on the Disney Channel show 'Even Stevens.'

So the implication is that Rihanna is mining the back catalog of Shia Laboeuf film and TV appearances for song titles. See, isn't that super funny?

Skittles

Boy, these are the best commercials ever, huh?

Cartoons!

I've posted way too many times about Metalocalypse, but everything I've posted before might have been topped by this song:

Which is followed, by the way, with this:

Oh, and also, this is my new favorite cartoon:



I'll point out that the platypus, briefly glimpsed towards the top is also a secret agent, which is unrelated to the plot of the show, and you'll know whether you'll like it or not.

The Mind Of Danny Tanner

This got me.

Wow

I do not agree.

I love Futurama, but the second half of this movie is meandering, off-tone and boring. The first one definitely has its problems, but at least it's pretty consistent throughout.

I will say these things though: the first half hour is amazing, and I can see a world where, if it's split up for Comedy Central in just the right ways, you can get pretty solid episodes out of it. And the Grand Midwife is awesome.

But as a movie? Fneh.

Metalocalypse Lyrics

Because I thought some of you might be interested in this, too. The lyrics to this:

Are this:

Doodily Ding Dong Tick Tock
Doodily Ding Dong Tick Tock
Doodily Ding Dong Tick Tock
Doodily Ding Dong Tick Tock
Doodily Ding Dong Tick Tock

Dethklok, Dethklok

I'll Teach you to Rock

Dethklok, Dethklok

Skwisgaar Skwigelf
Taller than a tree

Toki Wartooth
Not a bumblebee

William Murderface
Murderface Murderface

Pickles The Drummer
Doodily doo, ding-dong doodily doodily doo

Nathan Explosion

You're welcome.

Fear of Pickles

Problems with this video:

1) It is old.
2) It is mean.

But I think you should watch it anyway.

90210

Wow. I mean, I realize this is a promo thing to sell the show to advertisers, but... Wow:

Last Night's Lost

***SPOILERS***

Lost is almost impossibly good. Seriously. Things that are amazing:

- Lost is never better than when it's gearing up for a season finale. Last night was the first third of the season finale. It was amazing.

- The hero montage at the end nearly made me crap my pants and cry and scream for joy, all at the same time. Bully to the composer for consistently creating the best themes on TV.

- Ben's "Are you crazy" look to Locke.

- Batmanuel showing up, and being such a surprise... Even though there's zero reason it should have been a surprise.

- That scene with Claire's Mom, and Jack's silent reaction.

- The press not being retarded.

- Admiral Kane!!!

What did you guys think? Predictions for the season finale (in two frakking weeks)? Personally... I'm really, really worried for Desmond, Jin, and Michael; though I know that's exactly where they want me to be.

Lost Theory #1895

From last week's episode:

Mittelos=Lost Time

Can't be that simple, right?

The Description Of The Next Futurama Movie According To Wikipedia

"A planet-sized tentacled alien from another universe comes through a rift in time and space and takes control of Fry, making him pope of a new religion. This religion is practiced by all on Earth, who are persuaded into abandoning Earth and allowing all the robots in the world to inherit it."

OK, I'm in.

Colbert vs. Rain

Continuing our round-up of what's awesome on television channels, I would argue that Colbert Report is the best show on Comedy Central, and quite possibly, the best show on television. Mainly because he's set it up so he can do anything, like this:



...which is even more incredible when you know the history behind it.

Metalocalypse

Is anyone else watching this? Am I wrong in saying it's the best show on Adult Swim right now? I don't think so?

The episode on last night (Fashion Disaster) was frakking hilarious, and totally, totally awesome. I wish there was a clip online of the scene in the supermarket, where the band Dethklok discusses going on a diet*, but since that's not, here's the opening clip, which might be considered TAFW (Too Awesome For Work):

*Ending with the band-leader summing it up thusly:

"So, let me get this straight... We'll have one big meal right before bed, and also, we can have some bread, sometimes, because we're not Nazis, and during the day, all the popsicles we can eat?"